Autism and Me

I look at my child and then at the lines on my palm
I think of his disgrace on me but silently hum a psalm.

She’s my angel and my princess, she’s so beautifully clad.
Yes she’s different and she’s unique, but no-no she’s not mad.
My heart cracks when I see the uniqueness of her.
The events of her life are just a blur.

No she doesn’t talk to me nor does she play with me.
But she’s not insane, why is it that the world can’t see?
One look at her, moves my helpless eyes to tears.
Why hasn’t she called me ‘pa’ in all these years?

Under the sunlight, I look at the other children playing in the park.
And then I look at my kid, I look into the dark.
I hug her and I cry though I try not to cry.
My tears don’t move her, her eyes remain dry.

I’m not so brave, I’m not so strong.
They say God is stronger, they are not wrong.
I look at the Holy Spirits, the Sun, and the Moon.
I fall, I kneel down, I crave for a boon.

I feel so lost, I feel so helpless, I can no more see the sadness enduring.
The illness is not going and the sadness ~ not curing..
In this Eclipsed Darkness, I find myself jailed..
And in the end, it’s just me alone and my God that Failed!